Sunday, 20 October 2013

The hardest decision you will ever make

20th October 2013

I have avoided updating this week mainly because I'm not sure what to say....
We had our Wednesday appointment with the obstetrician as well as the paediatrician (which was rather amusing). They had strong opinions although seemed to be on a similar track in regards to our care before and after the babies are born which is good. We found out later that the cockiness and strong opinions were just because we suspect they are actually a married couple.

One downside to not having a midwife is that we get told a lot of the same information over and over again as each Dr isn't aware what has already been said. 

One thing that was very clear was that we had to decide that if the babies were born between that day and the following Wednesday, would we resuscitate?

Although at this very early stage (only 23 weeks) and due to twins and the high risks to twin b this may have been not such a hard decision (although heart wrenching) I fear that as we get further along and if baby b doesn't progress as we have hoped that this decision will become harder and harder.

No parent should have to decided if their child lives or not, the fact is, a lot of parents face this decision at some point. It's not fair and its not easy especially when you don't know the future..... What if they HAD survived? What if prolonging their existence would be later regretted? 
Without knowledge how our babies are REALLY doing, even with a scan they can't tell us a lot of things until they are born and resuscitation is executed, the most unfair decision is left up to the parents....

We have another scan tomorrow so hopefully some more good news...

Xx B&S 

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