I haven't posted in a while as I guess I was trying to just get on with things and not let too many thoughts into my head.
Where are we today and what has happened since our last post?
Things got busy after we left the hospital, we had seen the celebrant and arranged for the funeral director to come and collect the girls on Thursday morning which is when we left the hospital. Finally saw the grief councillor who gave us some info and how to contact them, not sure why we waited to see her as we didn't really gain anything from that appointment.
We left the hospital which I liken to being in a coma for a long time, you step outside and it feels so foreign and like you have been absent in the world. I had started crocheting a tiny pink blanket while we were in so I can start giving back to the families in need which was the beginning of my non profit organisation which I will blog about soon.
The weather was sunny and bright and as we loaded up all the beautiful flowers and bags I felt slightly nervous about how I would handle being away from the familiarity of the hospital....as it turns out we coped just fine.
Over the next few days we planned our girls send off which was held on the Monday and tried to keep busy and get enough sleep (fail).
We went to our gp who is amazing and so supportive and Aidan got some sleeping tablets.
Mum had arrived on the Wednesday night and was a great help as were my in laws with the housework and Harry and organising things.
Thank god she came as I think we both really needed the mutual support.
The time came for the funeral and it was the most beautiful day! Sunny, warm and just lovely.
It was such an emotional day but was over quickly. We held it at the botanical gardens in the conservatory where they grow the orchids it's like a giant glasshouse! We had a balloon release for the girls, Aidan and I let go two pink balloons and the guests a rainbow of balloons after them. We played the iz version of somewhere over the rainbow (google it, amazing) and the two pink ones stayed together the whole way up until they all disappeared into a cloud. We had cold drinks and scones after.
These last two weeks have flown by and we have had up days and down days, mostly up and it seems weird to be able to talk about them so easily and not be a slobbering mess but maybe they have sent us strength? When I feel like I haven't thought about them enough during the day I light two candles which stand as part of their tribute on the mantle piece.
I miss our girls every day and often imagine what it would be like to cuddle them one more time....
Xx T&T
