It's a.......

30th September 2013

So! We finally got our scan on baby b today :) must have shifted positions as it was so much easier to get all the pictures they needed without having to do an internal YAY! 

Baby b is looking great although the Dr still made sure we knew the outcome is really bleak despite what we saw today. I think perhaps working in a public health system you have to be extra cautious in terms of information. We weren't even allowed a print out of the gender shot in case we sued.....

So all measurements were good and no highlighted problems other than the lack of fluid and there was even fluid in the stomach which is great because that means swallowing!!!

Although very squished we were also able to find out the gender of our wee squeak!

So here is the verdict :)

Baby A is a ......BOY!!!!

And Baby B is a .......GIRL!!!!  The dr couldn't see any boy bits so is very sure it's a girl :)

Our beautiful pigeon pair :) Harry will love having a brother and a sister! We now can focus on the future and what will be happening at future scans etc. next appointment is on Wednesday morning as usual so will chat to the Dr.

So excited!!!!!! I love having a boy and so excited to be blessed with another and equally excited about the possibility of experiencing life with a daughter also :)

Keep fighting babies, mumma is excited to meet you xxx

Xx B&S 

Sleep is for the fortunate

28th September 2013

So we went for our appointment only to be told 2 minutes before that the Dr was sick and could we come back on Monday?.....

I am at peace with the Dr being sick but when you have been waiting for half your pregnancy to find out if your baby is okay only to be told you have to wait another week...feelings are a little different, disappointing, nervous, upset and many more. 

We have been rescheduled for Monday morning at 10:30am. We had our weekly visit to the HRC but because of the scan of baby b being postponed there wasn't a lot to discuss. No more antibiotics thank goodness as they made me feel sick and she wrote a referral for my weekly bloods which I was fortunate enough to have a different nurse to last two weeks.

Yesterday was my 29th birthday and it was pretty good :) I got a cake which is all I ask for really and a most lovely visit and park play date fro. A friend and her beautiful children.

The last two nights though sleep hasn't been my friend. I wake up every half hour or so leaking fluid or simply in discomfort. After a few awakenings I stay awake and can't seem to settle into sleep again, Thursday night I was awake from 1am and last night 3 or 4am! Because I have my darling Harry to care for I am unable to nap during the day so sleep at night is my only chance for rest. Starting to think perhaps I shou,d sleep sitting up? I believe it is the fear and the constant feeling of the leaking and wetness that is keeping me awake but alas there isn't much that can be done. My lovely sister in law is taking Harry for a few hours tomorrow so I might try and catch up on some shut eye then.

Will try to remember to ask the Dr for any sleeping ideas next Wednesday.

I guess that's all for now.

Xx B&S 

20 week scan

24th September 2013

The day finally came... And went! 

We had a good scan today and both babes are still with us :) today they checked everything that they could in relation to growth and well being and baby a came out with flying colours :) 

Baby b although squished showed no problems in its brain which is good and is measuring in proportion but has slipped in growth so is now two weeks behind its sibling. 

We are booked in for an internal scan tomorrow morning so they can better see baby b's anatomy as it was very difficult today. The poor thing though was curled around in a C shape which looked rather awkward and we hope to discuss this more tomorrow. 

All in all a nice day :) beautiful weather and lovely and warm for a change! Time for a short relax before mumma duties commence for dinner time.

Also here is a profile of baby a :)

Xx B&S 

Pre-Scan nerves

23rd September 2013

You know that feeling you get deep down in the pit of your stomach when you suddenly realise that something you have been waiting a long time for is right at your doorstep?...

Well that's me right now! Always at night but this time I also realised that I am far more nervous than I thought.

Context?.... Our 20week scan!

We have finally reached a point I thought we would never get to but I am happy/reluctant to say that tomorrow we are at half way through baking our two darling buns!!!!!

The reason I say reluctant is that every time I get excited about a scan, something always goes wrong. Be it no fluid, bright bowel or fluid on the brain, something is always different and not quite right. Of course we always hope for the best but in the back of your mind all you really want is for everything to finally be okay.

Tomorrow at 2pm we head for our 20week scan at the Hospital and hopefully will get a lot more information about both babies and hopefully a better idea of where we are headed.

Twenty weeks also means no more LIMBO!!!!!! This pleases me greatly as we will now be taken in by the assessment centre should anything go awry instead of toddling off to emergency without the slightest idea why anything pregnancy related would be told to wait for almost an entire day...

Still leaking a lot but now it's not just when I am sleeping its also when sitting too so I guess there are no winners now and it will just have to be debt with accordingly.

On another note our wee Harry will be 10 months old tomorrow and in the last few days has started crawling, standing and saying dad dad dad! I am very much looking onward to the day when all our beautiful children can play together. Although there is a chance they might not even meet, I hold this thought and darling picture close to my heart.

Until tomorrow my family, friends and supporters!

Xx B&S 

A day of rest

20th September 2013

Today I have dubbed to be 'Lift-Free Day' 

After many pains, Braxton Hicks and plenty of leaking the last week I have decided to test whether my uterus is being upset by the amount of lifting I am doing each day.

Now don't get me wrong, some lifting just can't be avoided when there are things to be done and children to be taken care of and I am we'll aware that I can't take every day off but hey! Humour me for a day...

I will today lift nothing heavier than the recommended weight (7kg) which includes our son who is 12kg eeeeek! 

Wish me luck and I will update how I get on later this evening! 

Also.... Amoxicillin makes me feel sick :( 

Xx B&S 

New information and a step forward

18th September 2013

A quick catch up over the last week...

I have had ongoing pains on the right side of my uterus which weren't alarming but rather uncomfortable and something new. 

We also celebrated Aidan's (my husband) birthday with breakfast and a wee drive followed by (his choice) KFC for dinner! It wasn't that bad.

Lots of fluid loss which happens mostly when I lie down or when I get Braxton Hicks.

So for today, which was our weekly appointment, we didn't have to wait too long this time only 45 mins lol (yes I just lol'ed)

The Dr we saw today was another Dr we hadn't seen yet and he was great! Did blood pressure and pulse and a scan first up which he believes, although claiming he is no expert, he saw a wee bit of fluid around baby b which is good so next week hopefully there will be some still!

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that we were called yesterday that I have an infection in my bladder which was picked up two weeks ago but have just decided to write a script for Amoxicillin which should hopefully get rid of it! 

The Dr arranged more bloods to check for infections which will be done weekly now as we are approaching viability :) good to know we are now on the path of "let's care for her" no longer "wait and see, just let nature do its thing" yay!! 

We are now one week away from 20 weeks which means both half way point but also that if we have an emergency we can call the pregnancy assessment centre for help instead of waiting in emergency *HAPPY DANCE* 

We discussed the trial I saw in the waiting room for Magnesium Sulphate which turns out is readily available to us and we will be sure to have it if our beautiful babies decided to or need to arrive early!

Also discussed was the steroid shots which was explained to us in much more detail and we now can make since of. We will be given a shot at 24 weeks if we want it but it only takes 24-48 hours for effectiveness which means they will give just before I go into labour or if they decide to induce. So we are happy with that.

We discussed being administered a hormone should we need to stall labour to give enough time for steroids and magnesium to take effect.

It really does depend on which Dr you get as to how they feel about intervention and care. The Dr today was really understanding about us wanting to do all it takes to save our babies and was very happy to discuss our questions whereas others we have seen have a more bleak outlook and refuse to discuss treatments until we are much further along.

I went and got my bloods done aft our appointment and now know which nurse to avoid!!! I had her last week too and have given her the name Stab-Happy-Susan although I have no idea what her real name is! Talk about ouch!!! Most needles I barely feel but this nurse seems to make sure that you feel every second!

Anyways, my gorgeous wee boy is awake now so will leave it at that for now.

20 week scan next week!!! 

Xx B&S 

Bed time = blog time

11th August 2013

I know the public system is great in regards to not having to pay for a lot but waiting an hour for an appointment that can only be on a Wednesday is just silly! Especially when they ask you to be there 15 minutes early??

Anyways, we got our appointment eventually and got the results for the blood and urine test. The blood test came back fine but the urine test showed infection... These two tests together should marry up so once again I am a bit of a mystery! I had both tests repeated today just incase of contamination so will either get a call by Friday (they were supposed to call me last week and arrange antibiotics but didn't) or will find out next appointment. 

I discussed the excess fluid leakage with the Dr but he didn't seem too concerned because on the scan twin A still had fluid. There wasn't much blood pooling in the uterus anymore which is good so the bleeding has slowed down a lot. 

The other thing the scan showed was that twin B was very curled up on the side and we asked if its spine would be affected, which the Dr answered no and that he thought the twin looked pretty good from what he could see. The one thing that came up that was information I missed at our 12week scan, because I was upset seeing my poor baby all squished, was that if its lungs haven't developed because of such early fluid loss that the baby won't survive long after its born :( the thought of getting all the way to the end and not being able to take your baby home is just awful. My heart goes out to any parents that have had to go through that and I can only pray that our wee twin will somehow pull through and be okay on the other side.

I was prepared for loss in utero but knowing that we may meet our baby then have to say goodbye is just heartbreaking.

Only 13more days till 20weeks and our next scan so hoping to get a lot more information and a better idea of where we are at.

Oh and one more thing, I saw a notice on the wall while we waited that was seeking applicants who were expecting to deliver early to participate in a study of the effects of magnesium sulphate on neuro development in premature babies. I think I will call and ask about this seeing as we are highly likely to deliver early.

I think that's all from me tonight and hope to have more updates really soon! Goodnight everyone! 

Xx B&S 

Pinched nerves

10th September 2013

So after all my BH on Saturday night I found that I had pinched a nerve in my lower back! Although these are fairly common for me, during pregnancy the hormones loosen up your muscles, I have never had this happen while I was sleeping!!! It feels like someone is pinching you but deep down and in a much larger space, it doesn't go away no matter how you position yourself and if you don't take anything for it then after a few days becomes achy.

Finally today, Tuesday it was feeling a wee bit better so I managed to take a walk with Harry to get some lunch. It's amazing how just getting out of the house for a short while makes you feel so much better :) 

Hoping I don't have a chain reaction like I did earlier in the pregnancy and get one after the other! 

We have our next appointment tomorrow so will be interested to see if all this fluid loss is just from the one wee babe. We will also get our results back from both the urine test and the blood test. Assuming that because they didn't call me on Friday all should be okay. 

In bed early tonight as I was awake from 4am with an over active mind!!!!

............. Okay so now I apparently have grumbly guts :( rushing to the loo is not my idea of fun!!!

Anyways, not sure who our Dr will be tomorrow but hopefully the one we have seen most as she knows our story best. Should give my Gp a call and fill her in.

Hope everyone has a peaceful night tonight!

Xx B&S 

5am...

So last night we changed prime ministers.... I'm not going to say gained because as of yet there are no visible gains to be seen as a New Zealander living in Australia with no citizenship. 

Anyways, the entire night I have been awake every half hour or so as my uterus contracts with painless Braxton hicks (who was Braxton? Must google this later) which in turn is expelling fluid in large amounts... There isn't a lot of blood mixed in so not sure where this precious fluid is coming from.

I am hoping its not from baby b and that it was just trapped somewhere. Soaked an entire maternity pad which I wouldn't usually do throughout an entire day of activity!

Last 3-4 days there has been more fluid loss than normal and I am really hoping that all is still well with our baby b but also with our baby a.

Not sure if we should head to emergency tomorrow to get checked out as its not really an emergency but there isn't anywhere else for us to go (the beauty of limbo) until we hit the 20week mark (counting down the days) in 16 days time.

Been rather moody as of late but I am putting that down to pregnancy insomnia and all the hormones (although I'm pretty sure hormones get blamed for everything and not just during pregnancy) my one solace is my always cheerful little guy Harry! I think I would go insane if I didn't get to see his happy, oh I am so glad to see you, face every morning.

Might try get back to sleep now as I have been awake for an hour and a half and wake up time is merely a half hour away....

Good morning Australia, and good night to those of you who are now off to bed.

Xx B&S 

Just an update after a couple of hours sleep, had around 30 BH last night which in turn has also made my back very sore!! Woke up this morning after a dream that I delivered one twin on the footpath!! Was very cute though with lots of dark hair. 

This morning I am still in bed at 10:30am feeling exhausted and sore while still getting BH, my lovely husband is about to make pancakes! Love him <3

Check up number...... I forget

4th September 2013

So we had our weekly checkup today... Why is it that they ask you to arrive 15 minutes early yet they are always running half an hour late?

Met some interesting people in the waiting room which seemed to be over crowded. Harry certainly is a conversation starter that's for sure but it's not alway a good thing when the people who decide to converse are rather chatty but smell strongly of recently smoked cigarettes and booze which consequently make me feel like vomiting...

We had a different Dr today whom we have met before but not through the high risk clinic, she is lovely although her accent (Indian) makes communication a little difficult. 

We talked about my fluid loss which there was a lot of yesterday, also we talked about the previous scan results again and it was said that there was fluid trapped in one of the vessels in baby b's brain which should hopefully resolve itself. 

She mentioned that they checked that the nasal bone was present and it was so hopefully that rules out Trisomy 13 (downs syndrome) so that's nice to know. We will get the sonographer to check measurements etc as we are unable to have amniocentesis because there is no fluid.

The Dr decided that no action needs to be taken as far as my thyroid is concerned which is great and she ordered a urine test to make sure the infection has gone and bloods to check blood count and for wider infection. We also talked about getting a steroid injection at 24 weeks provided all is going well and that will help baby b with lung development but they won't do much other than that to help them till after 26-28 weeks!!! Geepers I really hope we make it that far!! They haven't given up on me yet so I am not going to give up on them!! :) 

We saw our darlings on the scan again and baby a was wriggling away like crazy!!! Baby b was moving also and it's wee heart beat is still strong! Baby a even gave the scanner a good kick :)

As for me I had a rather restless sleep last night but woke at 7 feeling rather full of energy! 

Hopefully we should have all results back by Friday and then another appointment next week. 

So for now all is as well as can be expected and our babies are continuing to survive :)

Xx B&S

Today

3rd September 2013

Woo so we are all caught up now and here is my post for today.

All previous posts are information specific to what I could remember and didn't contain anything all that personal but I think you will find a fair bit more personal stuff in the posts from here on as, well, sometimes a woman just needs to get it out in the open.

Last night was a not too uncomfortable night as the last few months have been rather sleepless to say the least. My energy has started to return though and I no longer require (or rather just plain CONK OUT) a day sleep in the afternoons. I did however have a fairly large fluid loss though which is probably due to there being no loss yesterday.

So far September has been lovely and we have been rather fortunate to have great weather which we managed to go to the beach in and not get cold.

Our next appointment is tomorrow and I feel confident that the babies are okay and we will see the same sight we have been for the last 5 weeks. We are now at 17 weeks gestation and I have felt the babies (well one at least) moving a fair bit the last week. I have felt them move from about 13 weeks but only because I knew what I was feeling.

Must get round to entering pictures into the previous posts and also take a new belly shot!

Until next time! (which will most likely be tomorrow after our appointment)

Oh and a belly shot at 17 weeks taken today :)

xx B&S (Bubble and Squeak)

Follow up from our latest scan

28th August 2013

This brings you up to our latest appointment which was a follow up from our last scan.

I had been experiencing Braxton hicks already and was a little concerned as I hadn't had any till 20 weeks with Harry but the dr assured us that all was well and you can get them this early.

The scan showed a bright bowel on Baby B which means that on the sonogram it glowed white the same as bones do which could either indicate that the baby has a chromosomal problem (we are prepared for this already) or it simply may have swallowed blood. We think this is highly likely also due to the rupture and the internal bleeding so will just have to wait and see how the next scan at 20 weeks goes in order to assess the situation further.

Oh and I forgot to mention that the Friday after our booking in appointment I had been contacted to say that I have a bladder infection so was to pick up antibiotics asap.

Anyways back to the visit. I had also got back the test results from my thiroid blood test and they, as all things in our current pregnancy are, were very confusing! the measure three things and one was high, they other two were low which didn't compute! We will find out at the next appointment if she has figured anything out otherwise we will be going for another blood test after that.

All up to date so far I hope you are enjoying reading my blog and if anything it is interesting if not informative or comforting.

16 week scan

26th August 2013

Holy Moly!!! We made it to 16 weeks and had our scan!

This scan was rather special because not only did I get to bring Mum to the appointment (she missed out on my whole last pregnancy) but we also found out the sex of Baby A!!! (we are keeping it a secret for now as Baby B is still anon lol

The scan went great, we found out a whole lot of information including that they are definitely di/di twins and that the loss of fluid and small size of baby B is not due to TTTS Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome :D

Twin A is doing great and Twin B isn't doing to bad either. The uterus is split down the middle so each twin can move from above to below each other all the time which explains my fluid loss at random times as they move or switch places the fluid escapes.

The male sonographer we saw first was a bit rough and afterwards had a fair amount of bright red bleeding but the Dr who came in after was much more gentle and baby A cooperated for her and we found out its a....................................!!!!!! he he secret squirrel

We didn't get given any pictures though which is sad but I suppose we are just used to getting given a disc with all the images from the place we usually go!

We have a follow up appointment on Wednesday to discuss the results and check in with the HRC.

Booking in!

21st August 2013

I have not included posts about all our visits to the EPAS Early Pregnancy Assessment Service as they are all much the same, we go in, tell our story, they do a primitive scan (Our way of saying they used their ancient machine that can do no more than see a hb and very fuzzily outlined figures) they say "Wait and See" and we leave again after asking whether they received the referral from our dr and getting a yes we did or a no we can't find it.... very frustrating.

In that time my Mumma has also arrived for a visit!! All the way from New Zealand and it is great!!!

Anyway, we finally have our booking in visit after having our second trip to Emergency and being rather distraught about all the LIMBO that we are experiencing.

We wait for what seems like forever in the waiting room (we are pretty good and well prepared at waiting now) and finally we get to see a Midwife. They take a urine sample, and sit me down to fill out a mental health assessment form. I passed that by the skin of my teeth because honestly over the week before, I had been feeling honestly pretty down about our whole situation. The midwife agreed and was glad that I had not ticked the box that said "I feel so sad I want to harm myself" She herself has been through something similar so knows what I am going on about when I say "I never want to hear anyone say, "At least you still have one baby in there", "Oh but you are so lucky to already have one healthy child". Trust me its no consolation for losing a child no matter how many healthy children you already or could potentially have.

A LOT of paperwork was filled out and all our details were entered into the system including past scans, blood test results and any family history that may hold a clue to why this has happened or what may happen in the future.

Oh I forgot to mention that they took a measurement of my height (with shoes on go figure) and weight! Eeeeeep Didn't want to see that reading that's for sure! Perhaps once we get further along, Aidan will finally be lighter than me lol!

An hour later we were sent back to the waiting room to wait our turn to see the dr in the High Risk Clinic which we were just booked into. We didn't have to wait too long.

The dr was GREAT! She answered so many of our questions and even told us a few success stories of women in our same position! It is like a breath of fresh air getting to see a dr who specialises in High Risk Pregnancies!

We are once again told the odds of what may happen but also told that we may be surprised to see that they are both just fine.

My blood pressure was taken, and checked for breathing and Thiroid which the dr thinks is a little enlarged so off for blood tests we go!

I think that was the extent of the conversation and we had another scan which was nice to see them both. We are told we can come in every week if we feel we need to which we have chosen to do purely for reassurance because of the constant bleeding which has now been going on for 4 weeks.

Next week on BSTJ... Lol 16 week scan update in the next post!